billrider2013

Tonight the ABC will be airing a documentary called ‘Canberra Confidential’.   One of the segments of the programme will feature David Combe and his role in what is known as the Ivanov Affair.

This has led me to recall my brief dealings with David Combe and other events on a Department of Foreign Affairs trip to Canada and the USA  that I undertook in October / November  1986.

The trip started on the 14^th October 1986.   While we were waiting to catch the plane to Sydney in Canberra Airport, the news came through that the former Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser had been involved in an incident in Memphis Tennessee.

My trip was to take me to Foreign Affairs and Austrade posts in Vancouver, Toronto, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco.  I those days the planes were not capable of flying non stop from the west coast of Australia to the east coast of the USA and Canada.  We stopped over in Honolulu and flew on to Vancouver , arriving late on Sunday afternoon.

As would be expected there was nothing on Hawaiian radio about the former Australian Prime Minister.

David Combe Desperate to Find out what Happened to Malcolm’s Trousers

When I checked into the hotel in Vancouver , I was handed a message by reception.  It was from the Trade Commissioner in the Austrade office, David Combe.  The message was to call him at his home, urgently.

I duly made the call and asked him what it was all about?.  “What is this about Malcolm losing his trousers in Memphis”, came the reply.  I said I knew nothing more than what I had seen on the TV before leaving Canberra

I suggested that Mr Combe check the diplomatic cable traffic to get more information.  His response to the was: “ my access to the cable traffic is so limited that I am lucky know what f**k**g weather is in Canberra.  Clearly his involvement in the Ivanov affair had an impact on his security clearance and what diplomatic cables he could access.

Malcolm Spotted in Rush Street

After Toronto, the next post on the trip was Chicago.  Naturally, Mr Fraser was a topic of conversation.  I now know that he had been travelling through USA, on an essentially private tour, including lectures and speeches at universities and  business groups.  He was travelling alone.

The Consul General in the Chicago post told us that  a couple weeks before the Memphis incident, Mr Fraser had called him from New York to tell him that he would be in Chicago in a couple days.  He said he  would like to meet the Consul General and have dinner.  For whatever reason, the Consul General was not keen on meeting Mr Fraser.  He decided to tell a ‘white’ lie’.  He told Mr Fraser that  he was planning to be ‘out on tour’ elsewhere in Illinois, and his plans could not be changed.

The Consult General had employed an Australian girl as his House Keeper.  I recall she was from Narromine or somewhere similar in Western NSW.  She was the quintessential country girl, as open and honest as the day is long.  She was also a bit of a party girl.

There is an area of Chicago called Rush St.  At the time is was the equivalent of Sydney’s King’s Cross, London’s Soho and New York’s 42^nd Street – bars, night clubs and a few strip joints (what has the internet done  to them?).

Anyway, the Consul General told us that the day Mr Fraser arrived in Chicago was his House Keeper’s night off.  She headed off to Rush Street for a dink and a good time.  Who should she  spot walking down the street, but the unmistakable large frame of her ex-Prime Minister.  Excitedly she called out : “Mr Fraser, Mr Fraser” and rushed up to him.  He politely engaged in conversation and asked what she was doing in Chicago.  The House Keeper explained that she worked for the Australian Consul General.  Mr Fraser responded, “oh yes. I understand he is on tour”.  “Oh no, responded the House Keeper, he is at home in the Official Residence”.

The Consul  General, said he received a call from Mr Fraser late that night: “The language wasn’t pretty”.

Malcolm is assisted by the other Paul Hogan in LA

Next stop on the trip was Los Angeles (LA).  After he lost his trousers in Memphis, Mr Fraser flew straight to LA where he was assisted by the Australian Consular team.

I think everyone, Australian or otherwise, will recall that one of the biggest films of 1986 was the Australian comedy Crocodile Dundee.  It starred  Paul Hogan.  Hogan was a relatively  tall, tanned, blonde haired  ex- Sydney Harbour painter.  He was the quintessential ‘ocker’.

Fate would have it, the Consul in the Australian post in LA at the time also had the name, Paul Hogan.

Mr Faser was picked up that the airport by the Attaché from the Consulate and driven to the office to be given a new passport (it was lost along with the trousers), emergency clothes and money.   When he was introduced to Consult ,Paul Hogan, Mr Fraser was apparently was unimpressed.  “This  is no laughing matter,  just issue the passport and get me out of here”, was the response.

The Other Paul Hogan also becomes a TV Star

Apparently Mr Fraser’s reaction to the Consult was not unique.   He was short, somewhat round and pasty.  He looked nothing like to movie actor.  When he introduced himself to people as “Paul Hogan the Australian Consult in the LA Consulate”, the usual response was;  “stop  playing silly buggers”(if they were Australian)  or something similar (if they were not).

Paul Hogan the Consul, left the Department of Foreign Affairs shortly after finishing his posting to LA.  He returned to LA and landed an acting role in a TV series called the Butler.   See the link below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Hogan_(butler)

Explanation Some Australian Idiom

Above I used the term: “stop  playing silly buggers” .  For those unfamiliar with the expression it is the same as “don’t be a smart ass”

An Australian Diplomat has faithfully recorded an incident where Mr Fraser’s predecessor, Bob Hawke, used the expression in press conference in Japan.  The official translator, translated the words to mean ;  “don’t come playing humorous homosexuals with me”.  I suspect audience was left non the wiser as to what Mr Hawke was saying.